In love, as in all things, familiarity breeds not exactly the contempt of cliché, but a certain cooling of passion and complacency which can lead to staleness in a relationship. What can long term couples do to revitalise their relationships when the comfort zone gets a little too comfortable?

The value of shared pursuits and activities cannot be overstated in the context of a relationship. Imagine the process of dating or courtship, where would new couples be without shared activities, whether as simple as visiting the cinema or a favourite park together or as specific and complex as white water rafting or watercolour painting?

Why shouldn't the same be true for longer term couples? There are few more dangerous environments for a relationship than a staid, routine home life which requires little in the way of genuine interaction beyond sharing a dinner table and/or sofa. If couples are to remain interested in each other they must be interested in each other's interests.

Many relationship advisers think that couples experiencing a downturn in passion should return to the activities they enjoyed whilst dating in order to 'remind' themselves of the first flushes of love, and relight their fires in doing so. Whilst this can be a great starting point or perhaps last resort if you're really stuck for ideas, it is not necessarily the most positive thing to return to the past.

Revisiting past happinesses can be a dangerously nostalgic experience; the repeating rarely compares favourably to the original experience and the feeling that what is now pales in comparison to what once was quite literally defeats the object of the exercise.

One of the major reasons why courting couples frequently enjoy a range of activities together is that it gives them the opportunity to experience each other's reactions to a variety of different situations which are out of the ordinary. A key factor in rekindling romance is realising that, though you may have known your partner for many years, they still have the capacity to surprise you.

Another thing that too often falls by the wayside as a relationship progresses is one of the most obvious indicators of romance, universal throughout all cultures; so fundamental that it seems like stating the obvious to mention it: kissing!

I'm not talking about a peck on the cheek hello or goodbye, but real prolonged passionate kissing. Again imagine yourselves when you were dating, I don't know you personally but I'd hazard an educated guess that each meeting and departure during this period were marked by a prolonged and passionate kiss. Well why not now?

Every time you greet your partner or leave their company for the day or evening, do so with a passionate kiss; not just one, make it last, it's worth it!

You may protest that you're reading this advice because your passion is waning, that the feeling that drives you to desire such kisses is gone or going; I can tell you that this is very much a two way street. If you don't believe me, just try it for a week.

Every departure and greeting for one week and I'll bet that you won't regret it. If you should need any further encouragement just remember that now, as ever, passionate kissing is the perfect precursor to other passionate activities, and a healthy sex life is half the journey made to a passionate and romantic union.

It can take remarkably little effort to revitalise a stagnating relationship, the journey back to fulfilment is mainly a psychological one and can begin with some very small steps that have surprisingly far-reaching effects. If the spark's of your romance is sputtering, it's down to you to stop it going out.

About the Author

Croydon J Hounslow works in online dating.